The tradgey of romeo and juliet act ii ccr

Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo.

Without his roe, like a dried herring. O flesh, flesh, how art thou fishified! Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch flowed in. Laura to his lady was but a kitchen-wench— marry, she had a better love to berhyme her— Dido a dowdy, Cleopatra a gypsy, Helen and Hero hildings and harlots, Thisbe a grey eye or so, but not to the purpose. — Signior Romeo, bonjour! There’s a French salutation to your French slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.

He looks skinny as a dried herring without its eggs. O flesh, flesh, you’ve turned pale as a fish. Now he’s just like Petrarch’s hopeless love poetry. In Romeo’s opinion, compared to his own lady love: Petrarch’s Laura was like a kitchen slave—though Laura clearly had a lover who was better at making rhymes; Dido was drab and dull; Cleopatra was a gypsy girl; Helen and Hero were good-for-nothing harlots; Thisbe might have had beautiful eyes, but that doesn’t matter.

[To ROMEO] Signor Romeo, bonjour. There’s a French greeting to match the loose high-fashion French pants you’re wearing. You tricked us pretty well last night.

Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?

Good morning to you both. What do you mean I tricked you?

The slip, sir, the slip. Can you not conceive?

You gave us the slip, sir, the slip. Do you understand me now?

Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great, and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy.

I’m sorry, good Mercutio. My business was so important that I must be forgiven for stretching good manners and courtesy.

That’s as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams.

So what you’re saying is that your “business” forced you to flex your legs .

Meaning “to curtsy”?

Meaning make a curtsy?

Thou hast most kindly hit it.

Now you’ve “hit it.”

A most courteous exposition.

What a courteous explanation.

Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.

Indeed, I am the very “pink” of courtesy.

Pink for flower.

As in the pink flower .

Why, then is my pump well flowered.

Well, then my pump is covered in flowers.

Sure wit, follow me this jest now till thou hast worn out thy pump, that when the single sole of it is worn, the jest may remain, after the wearing solely singular.

Ah, witty Romeo, now you’ve taken this joke so far that it’s worn out your pump. With the sole of your pump now worn away, the joke is all that remains.

O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness.

This jest has such a thin sole, and is unique only because of its lameness.

Come between us, good Benvolio. My wits faints.

Please break up this war of words, Benvolio. My wits can’t keep up.

Switch and spurs, switch and spurs, or I’ll cry a match.

Continue, continue, or I’ll proclaim victory.

Nay, if our wits run the wild-goose chase, I am done, for thou hast more of the wild-goose in one of thy wits than, I am sure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for the goose?

No, if our witticisms go on a wild-goose chase, I’m done for. You have more wild goose in one of your jokes than I have in five of mine. Was I even close to you in our goose chase?

Thou wast never with me for anything when thou wast not there for the goose.

You would not have been with me for anything if you weren’t there for the goose.

I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.

I’ll bite you on the ear for that joke.

Nay, good goose, bite not.

No, good goose, don’t bite me.

Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting. It is a most sharp sauce.

Your wit is a bitter apple. It is a very spicy sauce.

And is it not well served into a sweet goose?

Isn’t that the perfect sauce for a sweet goose?

Oh, here’s a wit of cheveril, that stretches from an inch narrow to an ell broad!

Oh, that joke is made of leather so thin it has been stretched from an inch wide to a full fat yard.

I stretch it out for that word “broad,” which, added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.

I stretched it for that word “fat.” Add that to the goose, and it makes you a fat goose.

Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable. Now art thou Romeo. Now art thou what thou art—by art as well as by nature, for this driveling love is like a great natural that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole.

Now, isn’t this jesting better than groaning about love? Now you’re being sociable. Now you’re Romeo. Now you are what you truly are, both naturally and through education. In contrast, this love of yours made you like some fool who runs all over the place looking for a hole in which to hide his precious trinket.

Stop there, stop there.

Stop there, stop there.

Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair.

You’re asking me to stop my tale before it’s finished.

Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.

Continuing on would have made your tale too long.

Oh, thou art deceived. I would have made it short, for I was come to the whole depth of my tale, and meant, indeed, to occupy the argument no longer.

You’re wrong there. I would have made it short. I had come to the full depth of my tale, and intended to say nothing more about it.

The NURSE enters with her servant, PETER.

The NURSE enters with her servant, PETER.

Here’s goodly gear.

Now here’s something.

Two, two—a shirt and a smock.

No, two sails—a man in a shirt and a woman in a dress.

Give me my fan, Peter.

Good, Peter, to hide her face, for her fan’s the fairer face.

Good Peter, to hide her face, please give her the fan. Her fan is prettier than her face.

God ye good morrow, gentlemen.

Good morning, gentlemen.

God ye good e’en, fair gentlewoman.

Good afternoon, beautiful lady.

Is it afternoon?

‘Tis no less, I tell you, for the bawdy hand of the dial is now upon the prick of noon.

It’s not any earlier, I tell you. The lusty hand of the clock is now upon the prick of noon.

Out upon you! What a man are you?

Get out of town! What kind of man are you?

One, gentlewoman, that God hath made, himself to mar.

A man, good lady, whom God has made for himself to ruin.

By my troth, it is well said. “For himself to mar,” quoth he? Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I may find the young Romeo?

I swear, that seems the truth. “For himself to ruin,” he says. Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I can find young Romeo?

I can tell you, but young Romeo will be older when you have found him than he was when you sought him. I am the youngest of that name, for fault of a worse.

I can tell you, but young Romeo will be older when you have found him than he was when you began to look for him. I am the youngest man by that name, because there is none younger or worse.

Yea, is the worst well? Very well took, i’ faith, wisely, wisely.

Is the worst well? Very well taken, in truth, very wise.

If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you.

If you’re Romeo, sir, I would like to have a private conversation with you.

She will indite him to some supper.

She will invite him to dinner.

A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! So ho!

A pimp! A pimp! A pimp! That’s it!

What hast thou found?

What have you discovered?

No hare, sir, unless a hare, sir, in a Lenten pie—that is, something stale and hoar ere it be spent. [Sings] An old hare hoar, And an old hare hoar, Is very good meat in Lent. But a hare that is hoar Is too much for a score When it hoars ere it be spent. [He speaks] Romeo, will you come to your father’s? We’ll to dinner, thither.

Well, she can’t be a prostitute unless she’s so stale and old that she’s only tasted when nothing else is available.
[He sings]
Old rabbit meat
Old rabbit meat
Is good meat if you can’t get anything else,
But old moldy rabbit,
Is a waste of your coin
If it goes moldy before you can eat it
[He speaks] Romeo, are you going to your father’s? We’re having lunch there. Let’s go.

I will follow you.

I’ll follow after you.

Farewell, ancient lady. Farewell, lady, lady, lady.

Farewell, old lady. Farewell, lady, lady, lady.

BENVOLIO and MERCUTIO exit.

BENVOLIO and MERCUTIO exit.

I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this that was so full of his ropery?

Please tell me, sir, who was that foulmouthed fellow with all his dirty jokes?

A gentleman, Nurse, that loves to hear himself talk, and will speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a month.

Nurse, he’s a gentleman who loves to hear himself talk. He says more in one minute than he will stand behind in a month.

An he speak any thing against me, I’ll take him down, an he were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks. And if I cannot, I’ll find those that shall. Scurvy knave! I am none of his flirt-gills. I am none of his skains-mates. [To PETER] And thou must stand by, too, and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure?

If he says anything against me, I’ll teach him a lesson, even if he were tougher than he is—and twenty wise-asses like him. And if I couldn’t take him down myself, I’ll find someone who can. That rotten scoundrel! I’m not one of his flirty girls. I’m not one of his low-life scheming friends.

[To PETER] And you just stand aside, letting every fool make fun of me for pleasure?

I saw no man use you at his pleasure. If I had, my weapon should quickly have been out, I warrant you. I dare draw as soon as another man if I see occasion in a good quarrel and the law on my side.

I didn’t see anybody use you for pleasure. If I had, I’d have quickly pulled out my weapon, I assure you. I draw my sword as quickly as any other man if I see a good fight brewing and the law is on my side.

Now, afore God, I am so vexed that every part about me quivers. Scurvy knave! [To ROMEO] Pray you, sir, a word. And as I told you, my young lady bid me inquire you out. What she bade me say, I will keep to myself. But first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her into a fool’s paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of behavior, as they say. For the gentlewoman is young, and therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were an ill thing to be offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.

Now, by God, I’m so upset that I’m shaking. That rotten scoundrel!

[To ROMEO] Now, good sir, may I speak with you? My young mistress sent me to find you. What she told me to say, I will keep to myself. But first let me say: if you lead her into a fool’s paradise, as they say, it would be extremely indecent behavior, as they say. For the girl is young. So if you should deceive her, it would be an awful thing to do to any woman, and very poor manners.

Nurse, commend me to thy lady and mistress. I protest unto thee—

Nurse, speak well of me to your mistress. I pledge to you—

Good heart, and i’ faith, I will tell her as much. Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful woman.

Your heart is good, and I promise, I will tell her that. Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful woman.

What wilt thou tell her, Nurse? Thou dost not mark me.

What are you going to tell her, Nurse? You’re not understanding me.

I will tell her, sir, that you do protest, which, as I take it, is a gentlemanlike offer.

I will tell her, sir, that you protest to her, which I think is a gentlemanly offer.

Bid her devise Some means to come to shrift this afternoon. And there she shall at Friar Lawrence’ cell Be shrived and married. [Gives her coins] Here is for thy pains.

Tell her to devise a way to come to confession this afternoon. And there, at Friar Lawrence’s cell, she can make confession and we will be married. [Holding out some money to the NURSE] Here is a reward for your efforts.

No, truly, sir. Not a penny.

No, truly, sir. I won’t take your money.

Go to. I say you shall.

[Takes the money] This afternoon, sir? Well, she shall be there.

[Taking the money] This afternoon, sir? She will be there.

And stay, good Nurse. Behind the abbey wall Within this hour my man shall be with thee And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair, Which to the high top-gallant of my joy Must be my convoy in the secret night. Farewell. Be trusty, and I’ll quit thy pains. Farewell. Commend me to thy mistress.

Just a moment, good Nurse. In an hour, behind the abbey wall, one of my servants will meet you and give you a rope ladder. I’ll then use the ladder to secretly climb up to Juliet’s room tonight. Farewell. Be worthy of my trust, and I’ll repay you for your help. Farewell. Speak well of me to your mistress.

Now God in heaven bless thee! Hark you, sir.

May God in heaven bless you! Now listen, sir.

What sayst thou, my dear Nurse?

What, my dear Nurse?

Is your man secret? Did you ne’er hear say, “Two may keep counsel, putting one away?”

Can your servant be trusted? Have you ever heard the saying, “Two men may keep a secret, but only if one is far away?"

Warrant thee, my man’s as true as steel.

I guarantee you that my man is as trustworthy as steel.

Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest lady.—Lord, Lord! when ’twas a little prating thing.—Oh, there is a nobleman in town, one Paris, that would fain lay knife aboard, but she, good soul, had as lief see a toad, a very toad, as see him. I anger her sometimes and tell her that Paris is the properer man. But, I’ll warrant you, when I say so, she looks as pale as any clout in the versal world. Doth not rosemary and Romeo begin both with a letter?

Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest lady. Lord, Lord, when she was a little baby—Oh, there is one nobleman in the city, Paris, who would gladly lay claim to her. But Juliet, good soul that she is, would rather be with a toad, a toad, than him. Sometimes I make her angry by telling her that Paris is better looking than you. I swear to you, when I say that she turns as white as any sheet in the entire world. Don’t “ rosemary ” and “Romeo” begin with the same letter?

Ay, Nurse, what of that? Both with an R.

Yes, Nurse, what about that? Both begin with an “R.”

Ah, mocker, that’s the dog’s name. R is for the—No, I know it begins with some other letter, and she hath the prettiest sententious of it, of you and rosemary, that it would do you good to hear it.

Ah, you jokester— that’s the dog’s name. “R” is for the—no, I know that word begins with another letter. She says such pretty things about you and rosemary that it would do you good to hear them.

Commend me to thy lady.

Speak well of me to your lady.

Ay, a thousand times —Peter!

Yes, a thousand times. Peter!

[Giving PETER her fan] Before, and apace.

[Giving her fan to PETER] Go ahead of me, and go quickly.

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